“Why don’t people recognize Link in TOTK” bc everyone imagines the legendary swordsman to be built like Ganondorf and Link doesn’t bother correcting anyone bc being hailed as a hero is like on the bottom of his priorities, which are topped by things like “Bake one of every pie”
Rando farmer: They say that once the noble hero of legend passed by this very village! Isn’t that wonderful to imagine, genderfluid stranger?
Link, 5'6" with 2" heels and wearing a backless dress suspiciously stained with blood: no yeah that’s wild
“Wouldn’t they recognize him bc he’s with Zelda” Everyone interacting with Zelda was like “Wow, the princess!! The princess who saved Hyrule is here, talking to us! Plus some guy with three sets of pronouns who’s building a bomb but more importantly The Princess!! Wow!!”
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Zelda keeps coming across spare genders she doesn’t need and Link follows behind scooping them all up off the ground like a starving trash possum
Someone uses an unfamiliar pronoun around Zelda, and she hears the item pickup sound come from Link
Every time this comes across my dash it’s gotten better.
THIS
Link loaned Zelda a set of he/him at one point and he called himself Sheik for about half a game.
You keep making jokes like “teehee as a family abolitionist I just want children to die in the woods” but like… that actually is what happened to kids before the invention of the family. There actually is no alternative
casveman in 40,000 BC after letting the fifth baby crawl off into the woods alone: hmm . maybe we should come up with another way to do this i dont think the first four are coming back
the idea of a prehistoric society with a 100% unconditional infant mortality rate is making me lose it
caveman sitting up late every night in his workshop trying to find a way to stop children from being eaten alive by wolves before inventing “The Milf”
the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.
fyi falcons are not closely related to other birds of prey (hawks/eagles/buzzards). falcons are actually parrots that minmaxed for a glass cannon dps build.
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